May 15, 2005

• Equilibrium Tipped
  

  ---

  Equilibrium
  tipped backwards on her stool.  She so desparately wanted to keep
  upright; mother always said "a lady is never found laying
  around!"  A pair of cool cubes shouldered up to the bar and she
  slid further and farther into her drink and something more
  comfortable.  Oh they looked so smooth and shiny and she could
  only imagine pouring languidly over their headiness and the room
  spinning shudder.  Confidence had abandoned her long
  ago and would not come around here unless there where shots and
  beer and who likes her anyway all chatty Cathy talking to any rimmed
  glass and swizzle stick that didn't laugh out loud at her too
  tightness and last years last year.  My God, she wished to be
  straight as a pendulum - only sometimes  - plum line straight
  -  only sometimes you so badly wanted pushing and swaying and at
  the end of that arc, at the end of that long rope, out and back out and back and higher and higher holding on by only
  one hand and wowah Jesus, woo-hoo! 

              To
  let go. 

             
             
             
      To feel the unfelt

             
             
             
             
             
             
             
      and no care

  and in that abyss feel the
  warm closeness of no everyone and a shared alonetogethernoneness. 
  Sometimes .... someday ... (someday she wish oh she wished she might,
  first star she saw)  she sighed the room into focus and pushed a
  steady state on to the bar.  The flies had gathered around the
  social stickiness and where watching the multi-screened sports show
  with their multi-faceted eyes all glittering green and sapphire red
  blood shot veins and all the time not knowing where she was or the
  score.  The band had pulsed ahead of her and the crowd had noised
  in behind and she smiled and tipped the bar, it was her night off.

  • 8:34 pm
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